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River Trip Prologue

 


In late July, Lisa texted me.  Do you and Scott want to do a river trip in mid-September?

I immediately replied.  Yes.  Me, Scott, you, Brett, and Shannon?

Yes, was her reply.  

Then THAT DAY happened.  

Even through Infinite Sadness and Despair, I knew in the first week after THAT DAY that I still wanted to go on the river.  I, along with the two dogs, always rode in the boat with Scott.  Lisa and Brett would have their boat.  Shannon, Scott's best friend, would have his boat.  I found myself without a boat.  

On one of the many sleepless nights in that first week after THAT DAY, I was talking with Shannon on the phone.  

"I have a question, and I realize it's a pretty big ask," I said quietly.

"Ok," Shannon answered.

"I still want to go on the river.  Will you row the dogs and me?"

There was the tiniest bit of hesitation before Shannon answered, "Absolutely.  If you want to go on the river, let's go."

We talked about how the river was Scott's favorite place to be, how neither of us would have gotten into river stuff if it hadn't been for Scott, how he would be disappointed if we didn't go.  I also knew that this trip could be an absolute train wreck.  I could be a sobbing mess for the entire week.  I had never done a river trip without Scott, and I had never ridden on anyone else's boat aside from Scott's.  Now I was asking Shannon, who normally had his boat all to himself, to row not only me, but also my two dogs down the river.  Add to that the very real possibility that I could be a puddle of tears for seven straight days.  The potential for Terrible River Trip was adding up quickly.

In the weeks leading up to the trip, Lisa mentioned many times that I could change my mind at any point.  We didn't have to go if I didn't feel good about it.  We weren't committed to it.  We had time to change plans.  I could decide the day before that I didn't want to go, and it would be fine.  My friend Carol offered to come pick me up at the put-in if I had a last-minute change of heart.  Shannon was referring to it as "the sad trip."  I was not excited about it, but I knew we had to go.  I knew that if that day came around and we weren't getting ready to launch, we would all be full of regrets.  

The week of departure, I was texting with my best friend, Denise.  

Are you excited for the river trip? she asked.

No.  Not at all, actually.  I have no idea how it's going to go, I replied.  

I think Brett, Lisa, and Shannon were all expecting me to change my mind at the last minute, or hoping that I would.  But I didn't.  

Shannon arrived a few days before our departure so we could get his boat ready and loaded.  We were visiting one evening about the upcoming trip.  He expressed a bit of hesitation.

"I know," I agreed.  "I don't know what this will look like.  It could be nothing but Infinite Sadness and Despair for the entire week."

"Mmm-hmm," he agreed.  "But I invited someone else, too."  He smiled.

"Who?" I asked, smiling back.

"Joy," he answered.  "I invited Joy."

I nodded.  "I hope she can join us."

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